


Science is Cool

by SenkoWakimarin



Series: In Times of War [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Double Penetration, M/M, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 14:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15909948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenkoWakimarin/pseuds/SenkoWakimarin
Summary: Two Nates and one Wade. Only one sure way to tell which one is his.





	Science is Cool

**Author's Note:**

> This is super self-indulgent and I really couldn't care less.

Pinned between two _very_ solid bodies, Wade thinks he might have died a little bit to be here. Certainly this is some kind of divine gift, some small heaven, to be caught up in all this metal and muscle. In a weird way, it was comforting to have all that surrounding him, touching him like he was worth touching, like he was wanted. Even if it was because he’d threatened to kill them both when they’d shown up, confusing and so recognizable but definitely different men. Even if this was just to restrain and calm him.

Even if the fact that there being two Cables was _definitely_ some kind of multiverse fuckery.

Or an overindulgence of cocaine. He still did cocaine, right? That was a thing.

He pinched himself sharply, expecting at least half of this party to disappear, but all he got was a rapidly disappearing bruise.

“What the fuck are you doing,” the shorter Cable says, running hands in rough, brusque motions down his arms, rubbing them and holding them to his side in one move. Wade leans back against him, humming, laying his head on his shoulder.

“I’m thinking I did a lotta cocaine last night,” he says, making one Cable groan and the other huff something like a laugh. “Checking to be sure this isn’t a really, really nice dream.”

The taller of the two, he of the beard and soft eyes, drops a hand on his shoulder. “I thought you said you were going to back off on the hard drugs.”

“I would _never_ sincerely promise such a thing. Strike one towards you being the sexy, yet evil, fake clone.”

“Whom you would like to fuck?” He inquires lightly, TO hand running along Wade’s jaw.

The other Cable scoffs. “Who _doesn’t_ he want to fuck?”

Wade sucks in an indignant breath, elbowing himself some space between the two thick bodies to face him. “Are you _slut shaming_ me? Strike one for _you_ , Cable would _never_.”

“Yet the point still stands, you jabbering dildo. You want to fuck us both, don’t you.”

A statement, dry and humorless, almost taunting. Yeah, mini-Cable might be the evil one alright, but that voice was going straight to Wade’s dick, making him bite his lip for a moment.

“For _science_ , yeah, I might have thought that. I mean, how else am I supposed to tell which one of you is the right one.”

Huge hands come to rest on his shoulders, a heavy sigh leaving the taller Cable’s lips. “Wade, he’s a good two feet shorter than me.”

Strong TO fingers grip his jaw, bruising, forcing him to look at the shorter Cable. He smirks at Wade’s narrowed eyes, letting up on him just a little. “He treats you like you’re made of sugar. We both know better than that, don’t we, Wade?”

“Oh no no,” Wade chides, raising a hand to waggle a finger between them. “You two don’t get to play the ‘it’s obviously the other guy’ game. You’re both Cable, I got that locked down. But I have no idea which one of you is _mine_.”

Both of them groan, like he’s being ridiculous, but he’s firm on this. He knows they’re both real. Just which one _belongs_ here? Couldn’t say.

“So yeah, you’re _both_ gonna have to fuck me,” he says, like he’s making a big sacrifice here, not living out a dream. “And before you suggest takin’ turns, big guy, I’m not gonna be able to compare right if you don’t do me together.”

Maybe a lie, but just a little one. He can almost _feel_ the psychic conversation going on between the two versions of his lover. The doubt and concern warring with the lust. Nate was self-control in the flesh, but he also had a hard-on a mile long (practically) for Wade, and that seemed to follow through no matter what universe he was dealing with.

When he’s caught up in a kiss, it catches him off guard enough that his breath catches and he stumbles back into the taller body. It’s nice kissing Nate when he’s shorter than Wade, the angle comfortable and the hunger in his partner is as intense as the hunger Wade feels in his own gut.

Big hands work between him and the shorter Nate and his gasp becomes a hungry chuckle when fingers shove right past the waistband of his sweats, fondling him with idle attention as a bearded chin comes to rest on the crown of his head. Just like that, he’s hard. Or maybe he was hard from the get go, it’s a little hard to keep track.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you two were attracted to me.”

“Shut up, Wade,” short!Nate says, but it’s fond, indulgent, as soft lips brush his throat. Someone was a little into their lip balm regimen, which is totally not what Wade would have expected, given the perfect fuck-boy haircut this version of Nate is sporting.

He relishes the sensation of being caught up in their arms, all that muscle and metal and _god_ couldn’t you just _die_ , there’s a dick pressing at his ass and his thigh, yeah, like they’re really that into him.

“Let’s move this to the bed,” tall!Nate suggests, and Wade nods enthusiastically as the other Nate pulls away, smirking.

The bed is big, and there’s a reason for that, but Wade finds he doesn’t want to think about that, any more than he wants to think about the restraints that are fastened, permanently, to the headboard. Something about them fills him with worry, but that all washes away when hands, broad and purposeful and so very helpful, start pulling his clothes off.

Eagerly, he returns the favour, dragging his hands over the buckles and snaps to reveal flashes of skin. Short!Nate laughs at his enthusiasm, while the other version just smiles. When they’re all three undressed, Wade busies himself with a brief comparative analysis of their looks. Bearded Nate isn’t just taller, his version of the TO is cleaner, somehow, sinking in a smooth line under his flesh, swallowing his arm and dancing down his side, his hip, his leg. Short!Nate is more organic looking, very nice with the scars and the proud flesh and the jagged lines of metal bursting from under his skin. He’s got a thick vein of TO running up his dick, and Wade’s mouth waters at the sight, his brain going hazy at the thought of getting that inside him. As soon as possible, yes please.

“Can I suck your dick right now please?” Wade asks, the words rushing out of him before he can stop himself, and the shorter Nate just raises his eyebrows.

“Thought you had other plans,” the other Nate says gently, running a hand down his shoulder, and Wade melts into the touch.

“Oh god you are absolutely right, yeah, let’s do that, fuck, let’s do that _right_ now.”

The apartment is just a shitty studio flat, he’s frankly lucky to have his own bathroom, and the bed is shoved into a corner. There’s a mess around it, because of course there it, but Nate – the tall and bearded Nate – reaches into the mess and finds a dusty bottle of lube among the trash.

They move him and touch him and prep him so carefully, like he’s important, like he matters. Like he’s worth not breaking. They’re gentle with him. Short!Nate chuckles when he comes the first time, stroking him through it, letting him drool on his shoulder while Tall!Nate slides another finger into him. He can’t remember the last time someone handled him like this.

 _When was the last time you left this room_?

He doesn’t want to think about that. He focuses on the hands on him, the glide and pull, the drag of fingers in his ass, the teeth worrying his shoulder.

“Relax, Wade.” Tall!Nate keeps bidding him, and God, he sure is _trying_ , but it’s hard. _Heh_. “Breathe for me, come on.”

The fingers pull out, Nate adding more lube, and then, _fuck_ , stretching, burning, so so so good, and that’s just his hand. Wade’s pretty sure it’s _all_ of his hand, because goddamn if he’s ever been this full before.

“Please, please just fuck me. I can take it, I swear, please.”

Short!Nate looks over Wade’s shoulder at his counterpart, and again there’s that feeling of a conversation happening that he’s not part of.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Tall says, and Short scoffs.

“He wants it, don’t you, Wade?”

“ _I fucking said please and everything yes_.”

And that’s the end of the conversation. He’s again lifted and arranged, trying to move himself but managing mostly to tangle his limbs with theirs until Short!Nate sighs and tells him to just relax, they’ve got him, it’s okay. He leans against that broad chest, feeling the living metal under his cheek as their cocks press into him. He can feel the ridge of Short!Nate’s TO at his rim and shivers, violently, moaning as they spread him open and fuck in and in and in.

It feels like they’ll never stop, never bottom out, like they’re both just going to keep sliding into him until they disappear.

“You can take it,” Short!Nate murmurs, his voice rough but soothing, his hands gentle as they tilt his face up, so he can see the hunger on his face, the restraint. “You got this, right? Lemme see you take it.”

He feels hips against his ass, both Nates finally pressed in as far as their position will allow. He’d thought Nate’s hand inside him had been a lot, but this is _everything_ , this is the absolute limit, he’s sure of it, and while there is pain, he’s almost numb to it, gasping in the pleasure of being consumed his way.

Laughter bubbles up out of him like the kind of vomit you get after drinking too much soda too quickly, frothy and jagged.

“You tired already?” He asks, wiggling his hips, wincing and then giggling at the stab of pain. “I thought I asked to get _fucked_.”

Hands pet down his front, lips pressed to the nape of his neck. “Be patient, Wade.”

“We want this to be nice for you.”

There’s a moment of stillness, all three of them just breathing. Wade swears his skin is going to crawl off, and then one of them _moves_ and he’s slammed forward into the shorter Nate’s chest, unable to hold himself up.

A pause, like they’re worried they hurt him, and he digs his fingers, hard, into someone’s thigh. “If you fucking stop now, I’ll kill you both, I kill you _so_ dead, I swear to god, _don’t_ stop, fucking fuck me like you _mean it_.”

His voice tapers into a yowling moan, the hands on his hips lifting and pulling him, using his body like a very stretchy toy. Something in his lower back starts to twinge and he hisses, leaning back into the taller Nate, appreciating the way he slides his hand around his chest, feeling him up everywhere but where it counts. And he’s so hard it barely matters, every time they let him sink down on their cocks his prostate is punched up somewhere behind his eyes.

“Christ Wade, you really needed this, huh?” Short!Nate growls, and Wade just nods dumbly. “You figure it out yet?”

“Ffff… wha...?”

The eyes that were on his face flick over his shoulder, a wicked smile curving thin lips. “Pretty sure he’s mine. Same eloquence.”

Beard scratches his shoulder, the back of his neck, as Tall!Nate presses kisses against his knobby flesh. “I could say the same, actually.”

“Don’t… _belong…_ ” His attempt at defiance is cut off by a particularly sharp thrust, the vein of TO rubbing inside of him like the worst kind of tease. He still can’t remember either of these versions of Nate, and the more he thinks about it, the harder it is to focus. The leather cuffs on the headboard rattle with every move they make, and he finds his eyes drawn to them.

 _How long has it been_?

He doesn’t want to think about that.

 _When’s the last time he bothered to check on you_?

He doesn’t want to think about that either.

 _What’s he gonna do when he finds out_?

“He’s not,” he pants out, clutching as Nate’s thigh again. “Harder, _god_ , shit, dick me _down_.”

The plea does not, for once, go unheard. He cries out roughly, body trying to clamp down on the intrusions as he comes again, managing more of a flutter than anything. His come splatters across Short!Nate’s stomach and chest, glistening prettily on the TO.

 _He’s gonna kill them_.

Before he can parse that thought, he feels the rhythm they’ve established falter. They’re both losing control, Tall!Nate slamming home with a stutter of his hips, Short!Nate fucking up into him with a grunt as he comes, buried inside. He starts to apologize, and Wade leans forward – wincing at the motion – and kisses him silent, moaning into his mouth when Tall finishes inside too.

“You guys gotta go,” he breathes, as soon as he _can_ breathe again. He tries to pull off of them, but his legs are still like jelly and he can’t get the required leverage. “Please, you gotta – however you got here, you gotta leave.”

“What’re you talking about, Wade?” Tall!Nate asks, gentle, trying to soothe. Wade twists as much as he can to look at him, eyes wide. He _sounds_ like the right Nate, except not anymore. Nate doesn’t talk like that anymore.

 _I don’t want to think about that_.

He really doesn’t.

This time when he tries to pull off of them, hands lift him up, helping him flop over onto the bed. He nuzzles his face into the bedspread. “You really have to leave. We were too loud...”

Even if Nate didn’t hear them, someone else would have. And they’d tell…

He laughs, closing his eyes. “Science is fun and all, but the experiment is a failure. You’ve got the wrong guy. Please leave?”

“Wade...” Strong hands on his face, forcing him to look. They both look so concerned.

“I dunno how you guys got here, what plot-of-the-month is going on, but you need to leave. He’ll kill you. He can’t kill me – probably – but he’ll kill you.”

“Who, Wade?”

“You, duh. My you.” He laughs again. “The sexy evil clone was here all along, except he’s not a clone, he’s just you – I mean, Stryfe would be a fucking _treat_ honestly, he’d probably get bored and try to kill me _. You_ though, you just want me kept here.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Is curiosity really going to kill the Cable?” He asks, closing his eyes again. He’s very tired uddenly. He liked not remembering. He wants to get back to that. “Bodyslide outta here. Your Wade is in another castle. This is not the Wade you’re looking for. Good fuck though, thanks for that.”

“Wade.”

“War is coming. That’s what you go by here. So get the fuck out. Please.”

Short!Nate scowls, but he’s already half dressed, fiddling with something on his wrist. Clearly the smarter of the two Nates.

“Take it you won’t leave with us?” He asks, and Tall!Nate pauses, halfway into his trousers. He looks like a puppy, it’s ridiculous, so expectant and hopeful. And utterly let down when Wade shakes his head.

“If I’m gone when he comes looking, people die. Okay? Get goin’.”

Short!Nate glances at Tall, then shakes his head, and hits something on his wrist. Just like that, he’s gone – no cool catchphrase or nothing. Boring.

“Are you sure, Wade?” Tall asks, standing over the bed, fully dressed now. “I’ll help you if I can.”

“You can’t. Go on, fuck your way through the multiverse, or whatever you’re up to. And you call me a slut. Well, Short!You called me a slut, but I’m sure the thought’s crossed your mind.”

“I’ve never thought of you as a slut, Wade.”

That’s oddly sweet. Wade looks pointedly away from him.

“Bodyslide by two,” Nate says quietly.

And then Wade’s alone, only the ache in his ass to tell him he’d done more than indulge in an extremely vivid dream.

At least when War asks, "Who was here", Wade can very truthfully answer, "No one but you."


End file.
